How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
