let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I will pee on everything he values.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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