so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize