Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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