wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
