i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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