Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
