90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
