so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize