Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
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