its not stalking. its research.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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