sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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