didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize