She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
