I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
