Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
