He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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