He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
