dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize