Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
