yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
