This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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