I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
