I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize