your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
