I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
