did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
