I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
