I swear she didn't look like that last week.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
