She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize