before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
