epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
