U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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