it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
