If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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