my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
