Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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