I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's never too late to be topless.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
