even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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