I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
