omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize