needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize