I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
