Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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