My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
