Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
