so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
