let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize