she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
wow bdsm is so cute
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