I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
