i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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