im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
