The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
