I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
