A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
