he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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