a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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